Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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