Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
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I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
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next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
You left your phone here
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