12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
