I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
