Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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