We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
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...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
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This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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