So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
