TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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