there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
