he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
the liver wants what the liver wants
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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