You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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