Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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