Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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