I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
