roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
