so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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