Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
