We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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