I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
