Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize