what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
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I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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