i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
