Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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