so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
