The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
My feet surprised me
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
