Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Randomize
