My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
