Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
