plz talk dirty to me
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
