apparently the secret to your success is patron
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
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