Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
