I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
