After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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