it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You are the jesus of drinking
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
