I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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