I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I think your dad took our porno
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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