You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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