p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
