4 words: hood of his car
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
