wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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