I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
