I wanna passion pit in your ass
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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