Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
