Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Randomize
