I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i love accidental penises.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
