"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
