Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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