1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize