i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize