I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
