Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
