she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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