I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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