Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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