mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
