It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
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I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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