There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
