Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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