Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
