do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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