after a month anything with tits is on the radar
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
