I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
