our cab driver is having phone sex.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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