that's an acceptable place to lick
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
